Catching Up and Catching My Breath

Can you believe it has been so long since I've sat down to blog? Boy I can! A lot has happened since March. I'm going to give you a quick overview to catch you up. Let me start by referring to this picture. If you remember our word for the year challenge, then you remember my talking about ordering our word bracelets. We were all very proud of them when they came in. Bradley's word is "FINISH", my word is "REFRESHED", Bailey's word is "RESPONSE" and Brody's word is "THINK". And we've been working on all of these things in our home and our personal lives. But the one I am most proud of is Bradley's, because he did! He FINISHED seminary and graduated on May 6, 2010. It was a very proud and emotional day for us. I can't tell you how excited I was to watch him walk across that stage and receive his degree. Philippians 1:6, "Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on until completion until the day of Jesus Christ." The degree is done, but we both know that God's work in Bradley will carry on until the day He calls us home. We are forever grateful for His calling upon Bradley's life, and we seek to serve Him fully. Way to go, baby!
And then summer hit. Our kids have been so busy, growing up...it is hard to believe, but that is just how it happens. Brody recovered from a broken thumb to finish baseball season. Bailey attended cheerleader camp and her squad won the Jr. High Division camp championship! If you know me, you know I am a very proud momma of this. Brody went to kids camp and was a blessing to his sweet friends. Bailey is still leading the KidStuff worship team, but she "crossed over" to the youth group in June. This meant that she would be attending Flight 360 Student camp. What an exciting time for all of us! I was in charge of making the camp set...and since we are a ministry family, we did this together. Yes...child labor is wonderful when you have creative kids who love to help their mom! Together with Bailey's friend Alice, we painted the entire camp set. And we were so proud of our hard work. There is nothing like seeing your ideas come to fruition and it blessing others. But my plans for attending Flight 360 camp to produce quickly changed as we got some of the most exciting news of the summer. A new worship pastor had been chosen and was on his way to Texas to serve alongside us at First Euless.
Now if you remember how the beginning of the year started out, it was with the move of our best friends here, The Elkins. God called Robert (my boss) to First Orlando to be a worship pastor there. It is always wonderful watching God begin a new thing in your life and we celebrated with them in this move. But we also grieved our personal loss as a family. Two BFF's moving 1200 miles away does not make for a great New Year's celebration. And then we were in an interim period at church. God has been so good through that. Our team leader, and friend, Aaron Wade, has done an amazing job! And God blessed us with a fantastic interim choir director and he became our new friend as well. But the waiting was hard. The journey was long and filled with a lot of questions about just what God wanted to accomplish at our church. And "Who But God" can give you beyond your own expectations? What a faithful God we serve. And so we happily welcome Jeff Brockelman and his amazing family to our church. He's been serving at Grace Baptist Church in Knoxville, TN for the last 8 years. His view of a call Sunday was an amazing worship experience for all of us. So, our anticipation of this family moving to be our new friends and co-workers is filled with excitement for all God is preparing to do here at our church.
Personally this interim time and now the getting ready time has been filled with challenge. I want to take some time to write about all that God has taught me through this faith journey. Putting those lessons in this overview blog post just doesn't seem right. I can tell you that I have been so lovingly reminded of how personal God is with me. He has been patient and tender. He has been faithful to meet me right where I am. He has been loving to not allow me to remain where I might have wanted to be selfishly. He has been forgiving for when I just plain got in the way. So, if you can wait, I will share more...soon.

Shhh..."He gives quietness." Job 34:29

This was the verse attached to my devotional on January 31st. Little did I know that this was the theme of my entire month of February.

January was a month of unrest for me. I found tears in my eyes so many times, in so many places and in so many situations. If you follow my blog at all, you know that my favorite place to cry is in my shower, but in January tears seemed to spill out in all other areas of my life. It was a little unnerving to those who didn't know me well. So, I took my tears to the Lord. I began to call out - cry out - for an answer to the unrest. My quiet tears really did grow strong in some of those showers. The word for the year had been chosen and it was REFRESHED...so what was going on? On January 23rd, this was my verse, "Why, O LORD, do you stand so far off?" (Psalm 10:1) Have you ever had these times in your life where you cry out to the Lord and the louder you get, the quieter He seems? Well, let me just give you a peek at what I found the Lord saying to me in the month that would follow Job 34:29, "He gives quietness", which translated to me, "Shhh...listen girl."

February 1: "This is my doing." I Kings 12:24
February 2: "In the shadow of His hand He hid me..." Isaiah 49:2
February 7: "Why are you downcast, O my soul?" Psalm 43:5
February 8: "Surely I am with you always." Matthew 28:20
February 9: "He will quiet you with His love." Zephaniah 3:17
February 12: "Your Heavenly Father knows." Matthew 6:32
February 14: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Phil. 4:4
February 16: "Although I have afflicted you, I will afflict you no more." Nahum 1:12
February 18: "Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24
February 20: "Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20
February 21: "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." Psalm 37:7
February 22: "If you can?...Everything is possible for him who believes." Mark 9:23
February 26: "My grace is sufficient for you." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I did find rest. I realized while being quiet before the Lord, that all His promises are true and available to me. Isaiah 30:15 says, "...in quietness and trust is your strength..." I wish I could completely fill you in on all that God is doing in my life. I can't right now, but I found a peace that passes my understanding during this last month. I needed that more than I needed answers to all the questions I put before the Lord in January. My Lord is faithful and I know He heard all of those questions. And they didn't go away, but to rest in His sovereignty - to take the journey of faith, this is peace. I found a new favorite quote during February that says, "Faith is the 'Amen' to God's 'Yes', then takes its hands off it and allows God to finish His work." Can you walk in faith without peace? I don't know. Unrest seemed to equal worry and anxiety for me. But I found that when quiet enough, I can hear the Lord speaking to my soul, "God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns." (Psalm 46:5)

March 1: "Consider what God has done: Who can straighten what He has made crooked?" (Ecclesiastes 7:13) I wonder what the Lord has in store for this month? Here we go...

My Heart Song for A Season

Bradley and I just marked a new anniversary in our journey together in our marriage and ministry. In January of 2005, our former pastor, Dr. Doug Sager preached the "Dream" series that was THE catalyst to Bradley's accepting his call into full time ministry. That series changed the face of First Baptist Concord for sure. And this January 2010, we took some time to recall and celebrate how our lives had changed since that month five years ago. I'm not about to try and blog about all that happened, but I recall the books that we were reading right before we moved to Texas and how those titles seemed to say a ton about how different our journeys were or felt at the time. Bradley was reading "Life Wide Open" by Dr. David Jeremiah and I was reading "Shattered Dreams" by Larry Crabb. That's funny, don't you think? And it was true. God had asked Bradley to dare to trust Him with all that he could dream about His calling on his life, while at the same time God clearly told me that He's be asking for all of my dreams. Yes, this is a long story and would fill many blogs. And this month we mark the "Dream" series anniversary and how these five years now have changed so many things. And with the whole word journey that we have going on in our family and extended family, it brought me to a song. I think that this song is my heart song for this season. I simply just share the words with you as an encouragement that with God, life is abundant and beyond compare no matter where you find yourself along the journey.

"The Desert Song" (Hillsongs United)
This is my prayer in the desert, when all that is in me feels dry.
This is my prayer in my hunger and need. My God is the God who provides.
This is my prayer in the fire, in weakness, in trial or pain.
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold,
So refine me Lord through the flame.

I will bring praise. I will bring praise.
No weapon formed against me shall remain.
I will rejoice. I will declare,
God is my victory and He is here.

This is my prayer in the battle, when triumph is still on its way.
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ, so firm on His promise I'll stand.

I will bring praise. I will bring praise.
No weapon formed against me shall remain.
I will rejoice. I will declare,
God is my victory and He is here.

All of my life, in every season
You are still God, I have a reason to sing.
I have a reason to worship.

This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence flow.
I know I'm filled to be emptied again.
The seed I've received I will sow.

Every Soul Has A Song

I recently listened to a preacher online that inspires me. He was sharing about the fact that every soul has a song. He was talking about the martyrs in scripture, saints who were persecuted, even put to death. When you study these passages, so many of them account that the saint was singing, even while in jail or in chains. Singing and praising is found so many times in scripture; we do have an entire book of songs (Psalms). Of course, everything he was saying ministered directly to my soul, especially since the last ten years of my life have been spent in full time worship ministry. I can certainly attest that my soul has a heart song.

I noodled on this message for the rest of the night and woke up the next morning with it still on my mind. I happened to also be praying for my Mammaw. She's 86 years old and living in a nursing home in Harrisburg, Arkansas. Let me just tell you right now, that this woman is so precious to me and there are WAY TOO MANY miles between here and there. She has been our steady rock for so long. She raised all of us at some point in our lives. And now, she's the last of her siblings left. Not only that, but she has buried her husband of 44 years and 2 of her children, one being my mother. In the last 4 years, she has broken her hip and her neck. She has a pacemaker/defibrillator that makes her heart work correctly, along with macular degeneration, which means she is basically blind. But sit next to her and she'll pour out of her very being directly into you. She is a tremendous servant and friend. I could go on and on. She has a heart appointment tomorrow at the Heart Failure Clinic in Arkansas. She has a leaking valve and this is the next step for what has been about a two year journey with complications. We were just talking about all of this the other day on the phone, and she just simply expressed to me that she is tired. Her body is worn out. And while I silently cried, she just wanted to tell me that when God calls, she is ready. And she needed to hear me say that we'd be fine. I can't tell you just how much I adore this woman.

I write all of this to say that I heard a song that to me would be my Mamms heart song. I'm sure she has never even heard it, but if I could listen inside her failing heart, I believe that I would strongly hear this song being sung.

"I Will Rise"
Chris Tomlin
There's a peace I've come to know, though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul, I can say, "It is well"
Jesus has overcome, and the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won, He is risen from the dead
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near when this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear and my faith shall be my eyes
Jesus has overcome, and the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won, He is risen from the dead
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
I will rise

And I hear the voice of many angels sing, "Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart, "Worthy is the Lamb"
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
I will rise

My heart is singing along....