My Heart Song for A Season

Bradley and I just marked a new anniversary in our journey together in our marriage and ministry. In January of 2005, our former pastor, Dr. Doug Sager preached the "Dream" series that was THE catalyst to Bradley's accepting his call into full time ministry. That series changed the face of First Baptist Concord for sure. And this January 2010, we took some time to recall and celebrate how our lives had changed since that month five years ago. I'm not about to try and blog about all that happened, but I recall the books that we were reading right before we moved to Texas and how those titles seemed to say a ton about how different our journeys were or felt at the time. Bradley was reading "Life Wide Open" by Dr. David Jeremiah and I was reading "Shattered Dreams" by Larry Crabb. That's funny, don't you think? And it was true. God had asked Bradley to dare to trust Him with all that he could dream about His calling on his life, while at the same time God clearly told me that He's be asking for all of my dreams. Yes, this is a long story and would fill many blogs. And this month we mark the "Dream" series anniversary and how these five years now have changed so many things. And with the whole word journey that we have going on in our family and extended family, it brought me to a song. I think that this song is my heart song for this season. I simply just share the words with you as an encouragement that with God, life is abundant and beyond compare no matter where you find yourself along the journey.

"The Desert Song" (Hillsongs United)
This is my prayer in the desert, when all that is in me feels dry.
This is my prayer in my hunger and need. My God is the God who provides.
This is my prayer in the fire, in weakness, in trial or pain.
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold,
So refine me Lord through the flame.

I will bring praise. I will bring praise.
No weapon formed against me shall remain.
I will rejoice. I will declare,
God is my victory and He is here.

This is my prayer in the battle, when triumph is still on its way.
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ, so firm on His promise I'll stand.

I will bring praise. I will bring praise.
No weapon formed against me shall remain.
I will rejoice. I will declare,
God is my victory and He is here.

All of my life, in every season
You are still God, I have a reason to sing.
I have a reason to worship.

This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence flow.
I know I'm filled to be emptied again.
The seed I've received I will sow.

Every Soul Has A Song

I recently listened to a preacher online that inspires me. He was sharing about the fact that every soul has a song. He was talking about the martyrs in scripture, saints who were persecuted, even put to death. When you study these passages, so many of them account that the saint was singing, even while in jail or in chains. Singing and praising is found so many times in scripture; we do have an entire book of songs (Psalms). Of course, everything he was saying ministered directly to my soul, especially since the last ten years of my life have been spent in full time worship ministry. I can certainly attest that my soul has a heart song.

I noodled on this message for the rest of the night and woke up the next morning with it still on my mind. I happened to also be praying for my Mammaw. She's 86 years old and living in a nursing home in Harrisburg, Arkansas. Let me just tell you right now, that this woman is so precious to me and there are WAY TOO MANY miles between here and there. She has been our steady rock for so long. She raised all of us at some point in our lives. And now, she's the last of her siblings left. Not only that, but she has buried her husband of 44 years and 2 of her children, one being my mother. In the last 4 years, she has broken her hip and her neck. She has a pacemaker/defibrillator that makes her heart work correctly, along with macular degeneration, which means she is basically blind. But sit next to her and she'll pour out of her very being directly into you. She is a tremendous servant and friend. I could go on and on. She has a heart appointment tomorrow at the Heart Failure Clinic in Arkansas. She has a leaking valve and this is the next step for what has been about a two year journey with complications. We were just talking about all of this the other day on the phone, and she just simply expressed to me that she is tired. Her body is worn out. And while I silently cried, she just wanted to tell me that when God calls, she is ready. And she needed to hear me say that we'd be fine. I can't tell you just how much I adore this woman.

I write all of this to say that I heard a song that to me would be my Mamms heart song. I'm sure she has never even heard it, but if I could listen inside her failing heart, I believe that I would strongly hear this song being sung.

"I Will Rise"
Chris Tomlin
There's a peace I've come to know, though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul, I can say, "It is well"
Jesus has overcome, and the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won, He is risen from the dead
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near when this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear and my faith shall be my eyes
Jesus has overcome, and the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won, He is risen from the dead
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
I will rise

And I hear the voice of many angels sing, "Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart, "Worthy is the Lamb"
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
I will rise

My heart is singing along....

The Details

If you know me, you know I love the "little things" in life. I love to pay attention to details. In fact, I get paid to do just that. Work, accomplish, produce the details of our worship services at First Baptist Church Euless. And I enjoy it. Recently, I was copied in on an email where my Pastor was describing me to a new co-worker. He said, " Lainie Thomas is our producer, and she is an incredibly detailed servant who doesn’t miss much at all."

Wow, what a very nice compliment from my Pastor. I was honored that he would give me such a great review to help my first impression with this new team member. But, I have to be honest, it got me thinking... My job is to succeed at taking care of multiple details for quite a large number of people. They depend on me. And those details change every seven days, so there is much time and preparation spent on getting up to speed and comfortable with what each week's new set of details entails. So, this is how I'm described at work, but can I say the same about my personal life?

I started thinking about the details of my life. I started surface in my assessment of how "incredibly detailed" I am at the little things in my private life, when no one may be looking. For example, I don't often think about accessories when it comes to my attire. To some people, that is a must, but I often just don't take the time to think about what purse I should carry, or a nice scarf to accent, an outfit, the proper earrings with this neckline, etc. I know, this is small, but it is true about me. And my skincare...I have very dry skin and while I take good care of my face, I often neglect lotion for my parched hands, elbows and feet. I don't often sit down for a good pedicure unless a friend invites me to go hang out for one. Some of this is due to have a husband in seminary, but much is just my neglecting the small stuff.

And then there is my spiritual life. I recently read a quote that I had to "noodle" on for a long time. I came upon it in a small book called "The Audience of One" that our choir was reading together. The Holy Spirit just seemed to stop me in my tracks on this one, "Above all make sure that your public worship is mirroring of what you do in private." Yes, take time to read that again. It is a profound statement to me, especially since Worship is my profession. I think about it, talk about it, help plan it, practice it, participate in it, produce it, but all of that is my public worship. What about my private worship? The truth is, I often struggle with the small stuff...THE DETAILS! My honest critique of myself is that I don't stop, but neglect. In my own power, I convince myself that I can run, do and do and do on my own; but it is just not true. And this honest assessment is one of the reasons why my journey with the Lord for 2010 is captured in my word choice, "REFRESHED". When you let yourself be blind to the fact that you've unplugged from the true power source, you find yourself worn and weary. But as this new year is already moving along, I'm finding myself stopping to put lotion on more often, think about accessories, and daily tap into the Living Water that does not run dry. We've got a long way to go on this journey, but every step counts.

Imaginations Run Wild

We've had a great day at home. Relaxing some...watching t.v. some...cleaning some...cooking some - you get the picture. I have thoroughly enjoyed this day. One thing that this day did not have in it was my husband, Bradley. We put him on a plane(s) to India yesterday and he will be gone until January 17th. When you count the days, it's really not that long, but to me, it seems that way. I think it's because he left on a single digit day and will return on a day that has the word "teen" in it. That's just how it works for me. But also, because I am all things to all the little people in my house until he returns. Yes, "Mom's" the word.

Now I am a very blessed woman for sure. I have a very wonderful and helpful husband and great kids. But when you aren't used to be a single mom for any amount of time, AND your love language is acts of service, this time can turn out to be interesting. No matter, it is all in service to Him for sure.

I got into the "cleaning some" part of my day, which involved cleaning dishes, laundry and putting away Christmas...all at the same time. For a while, I felt like I had developed ADHD. I kept bouncing from one of these chores to the other. My kids had been upstairs for quite a while and my son came down to announce that he'd be going in and out for a while. Now, it's cold! Plain and simple, so I told him to put his coat on. He obeyed and I went back to my ADHD chores. Right about then, I heard him yell up to his sister, "I'm rich, right?" And she happily answered, "Yes, of course!" And he went out the front door. Well, this intrigued me. I began to continue the appearance of my cleaning so as not to interrupt their whatever it was they were doing. And boy did I soon discover.

They had a full-fledged Veterinarian's office upstairs. All of the WebKinz animals were in little cages. The Wii remotes controllers had been re-purposed to Defibrillator paddles in the operating room (the bathroom). The toilet paper from under the bathroom sink was now bandages awaiting the wounds of the animals that Brody was out rescuing. Bailey ran the office, but Brody was the doctor. He was riding his Porsche (new bike) to and from work. Too bad it made his cheeks so red. He obviously had the sun roof up on this cold, brisk day. Yes, the imaginations were out in full force up those stairs.

I love it when my kids, who have just about every toy they could possibly want at their fingertips decide that their imaginations are more fun than the anything else. And as a creative type, it certainly helps to know that this kind of playing cultivates more in them than watching hours of the Disney Channel or playing hours of video games. And it certainly helped when I finally walked up the stairs to behold the huge mess that the Vet Office was in 3 of the 4 rooms up there. But oh well...no reason to crush one of God's greatest gifts. Messes clean up and moments like these are fleeting. I'm just going to enjoy this part of the journey.

Out of The Mouths of Babes

The "word" for the year is going well. After I made my choice on Sunday, I decided to share this little adventure with my kids. We were driving on the way home from church and I decided to backtrack and told them the whole story. I asked them if they wanted to think/pray about having a word that would capture what they hoped their journey with the Lord would be this year. As I was saying one more time, "You can think about it", they both chimed in that they had their word choice.

Bailey is 11 and in middle school. I asked her to go first. She's been growing and learning so much lately, and if you remember the time between leaving elementary and going into middle school, there are so many choices to make. I hate to say it out loud, but choices to leave behind childish things. It is a part of maturity as a young woman and a young believer. Bailey confidently declared her word to be "RESPONSE". She explained it to me that she wanted to respond the right way anytime that her parents or the Lord asks her to do anything. Those are her words not mine. I was beaming, I'm sure. This was a big day for Bailey. We talked so many more times this day about her word choice. We talked about her relationship with her brother, with God, with us. It was good and hard. Being stretched is just that, isn't it? By the time she went to bed last Sunday, all on her own, she had a new commitment to begin memorizing God's word and doing daily devotions by reading through Psalms this year. I just couldn't have asked for anything more. We talked together about how she would be tested, even when she wasn't expecting it; but as her mom and her sister in Christ, I am so proud of her. She is truly becoming a beautiful young woman, inside and out.

Brody told me his word choice right after his sister did. He chose "THINK". Of course, I had to ask the reasons behind his choice, and he confidently declared that he needed to slow down and think about everything. He went on to give examples about spelling words correctly, remembering to capitalize the first word of every sentence, to listening to others before he started talking. Mind you, he was officially still on Christmas break from school, so some of these examples were very interesting to me, but I loved each one. Brody is in the 4th grade this year and will be turning 10 years old in March. This is a very important year in elementary for him. He is learning to write in cursive, working on his writing skills, moving up in all of sporting leagues, etc. Up until this point, he has definitely been good with just getting by in school, but he recently seemed to come to the understanding that he has so much more to give. His dad and I saw the light bulb turn on in football last fall and we've just been waiting for that to happen in school. Our hope and prayer is his word for the year will be the beginning of just that - waking up to his full potential. He is such a bright and creative boy, full of life and never-ending energy. His positive attitude and sweet spirit seems to be contagious to all of his friends and acquaintances. And because of all of these precious things, he is often content with status quo. We're not trying to push him hard, but he's got some pretty big dreams for life, so we just want him to find the work ethic to match it. With the Lord in his life, there is no doubt that "all things are possible."

And that is where I leave the content of this post, in the hands of the Lord. Bailey and Brody do not belong to us. They are gifts from our Heavenly Father. He hold their futures and He knows the plans He has for their lives. God, help us be faithful servants with these two precious gifts from above. And produce in them your will where it concerns "RESPONSE" and "THINK" in 2010. Trusting You is the only way, the best way.

A Word for the Year

We've arrived in 2010! Can't believe it! How did this happen so fast? Ten years - a decade into the new millelium! I'm about to have 2 kids in double digits! What? When your children tell you life is flying by, you just have hold on to your britches, right?

Well, we've started the new year out with something that our sweet and dear friends shared with us, and I just have to share with you. Robert and Angie's new pastor (that is very weird to say) has challenged their entire staff and church to find a word that is their focus for the new year. Dr. Uth's word for '10 is REMEMBER. I don't know the story behind his choice, but I bet the members of First Orlando will be discovering that very soon. So Robert and Angie were sharing their word choices for the new year with Bradley and I the other day. We just loved it and were both so inspired by it, that we asked them if we could join in with them in a word to capture what we hoped our journey to be for 2010. Of course, that gladly agreed that we could come along for the ride. So, immediately Bradley decided to go with FINISH! Finish things he started, finish school, you get the picture. I like his choice. Living in Texas has been about school, and with the end in sight - of school, I like his focusing being finishing strong! Yea!

It took me a little longer to decide. If you read my last post, I had a pretty interesting year for 2009, and where I am right now is hard to put into words exactly. So to sum up what I hope the journey with the Lord will be for the year of 2010 was just hard. I batted around several words, but no particular one was chosen. Then on Sunday, our Pastor spent the day speaking on our church's vision for 2010. It was a great day, but something in the middle of his sermon struck me that day. It actually helped me make my decision. But it started in the early morning hours in my shower, alone with the Lord.

I get up at 5: 30 am every Sunday morning to be at work by 6:30 am. Yes....I know! And on cold days, the only thing that helps is that hot morning shower. But if you've been following this blog, you know that water is one of the things that makes me feel creative. My creative juices flow like crazy at the beach. When I am near the lake or a fountain, my mind just moves more freely. And the shower is the same. This Sunday morning, I was praying about the word choice. I was thinking about when I drifted to sleep and it was still with me when I was trying to wake up. I had gone to sleep reading the book, "Come Thirsty". I had decided on New Year's Eve as I was leaving the office, that I would make this my first read of the new year. It fell into a theme that I believe the Lord had going with me. A great part of last year was like the desert to me . I felt all alone in the wilderness for much of it. So maybe "Thirsty" was what I was. Thirsty to be filled and overflowing with God's goodness and mercy again. Thirsty to be healed up from some lingering wounds, you know like when your skin is so dry you can't put enough lotion on it. Thirsty like a plant that hasn't been watered; like the ground that needs the rain; like a riverbed that was low. And this book screamed out to me ,"Come Thirsty". Yes, the optimum word being "COME!" I had missed it! Thirsty is what attracted me to the book, but the "Coming" was what I had not done enough of last year. Tapping into the source that could quench my thirst. I know that much of my year was spent sitting down in my wilderness, like Elijah after Mt. Carmel. The Lord fed him, provided him water, and allowed him to rest until he was called back into service. And do you remember what God asked him to do after he sat and experienced some healing? Yes, run for over 300 miles to another mission for the Lord. He also got to go find Elisha, but a marathon none-the-less. Come Thirsty.

But that was not the word I chose. When Bro. John said, "What word has been rolling around in your mind, something that God wants to stretch you with and accomplish in you this year?", the word the Spirit brought to my mind was REFRESHED. That was what I told the Lord as I was finishing my shower that morning. "Thank you Lord for showers that are so REFRESHING to me every cold, early Sunday morning!" Thirsty is what I always need to be. Thirsty for more of the Lord. But when I COME, and drink from the LIVING WATER, He promises me to be REFRESHED. That is what I want 2010 to be.

Psalm 107:9, says, " For He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.
Psalm 68:9 says, "You gave abundant showers, Oh God, and you refresh your inheritance."

So, you'll hear a lot about this word from me over the course of this year. I'm anticipating great and mighty things from the Lord. And I know He is waiting for me to COME to the LIVING WATER, very THIRSTY and find REFRESHMENT. Join me, want you?