For The Audience of One

The Worship Ministry of First Euless is reading a book together called "The Audience of One" by Mike Pilavachi. It is from a series of little books written on worship that have been produced by Matt Redman. I have thoroughly enjoyed it as I've been reading it, digesting bits and pieces over these summer months. I find myself sitting and shaking my head in agreement with statement after statement written in this little jewel of a book. Over and over again I've thought to myself, "That is what the church needs to hear, to know about worship." I actually finished the book on the way home from vacation. Bradley was driving, so I took advantage of the time. I had been anticipating the chapter entitled "Worship and Creativity". Yes, my 2 favorite topics (besides my husband and my kids). Bring it on Mike Pilavachi! Again, I found myself enthralled with the words and challenges of this yet another great chapter on worship. And as I was about to turn the page to the last chapter, thinking, "Yea, I'm gonna be finished with my assignment before I go back to work," I read this statement, "Just make sure that your public worship is a mirror of your private acts of worship." And as my fingers reached up to turn the page, there was a big screeching noise in my head like the sound you hear when you suddenly slam on the brakes. What? And the Holy Spirit would not let me leave this page.

Instantly, I could sense the Spirit tugging on my heart. My mind traveled back to the days of being a teenager. I was thinking about something my dad used to say to me about public displays of affection. "What you're willing to do in public, means you'll do more in private." And you know, he was absolutely right. I had a high standard with this in my dating life. Avoid the appearance of evil, right?

Fast forward to my present situation. This time the author of my book is talking about my display of affection for my Lord. What I'm willing to do in public, I should mirror that or even go farther in my private worship with my Savior. Ouch! I was instantly convicted and began confessing. Worship is my work. I have never struggled to engage in worship. Even when my dad used to make me hold onto the pulpit so I wouldn't raise my hands when I sang in church as I child, I felt the freedom to do so. I've never been embarrassed about getting involved and leading others to do the same.

Just recently, my BFF Angie and I went to the Travis Cottrell "Jesus Saves" concert at a local church on a Sunday night. I needed to go so badly. We both went with great anticipation of meeting Christ and being filled with a fresh anointing of the Spirit at this event. It took me a couple of songs to get my producer mode turned off, and then I just worshipped, standing, clapping, singing, raising my hands in adoration - whatever felt appropriate. It was honest and heartfelt - AUTHENTIC would be a great way to describe how I was feeling about this worship experience. And then the singers began to sing a song I had never heard, "The Mercy Seat". Oh, this song was an experience all its own to me. My mind was instantly taken to the scripture in Isaiah 6 where Isaiah come into the temple to see the Lord high and lifted up. His glory filled the temple. And the creatures gathered around him were singing, "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come." But Isaiah could not speak. His lips were unclean. And a creature flew to him and touched his lips with a white hot coal, so that he was made clean. I had to sit down and cry. Here I was, almost at the end of my worship experience, but I just needed to get on my face in the temple. I couldn't, I was wearing a dress, but I knew in my mind I could. I could enter that throne room boldly and fall at the feet of Jesus. The words to song they were singing are...

"He said that I could come into His presence without fear

Where His mercy hovers near

I'm running, I'm running, I'm running to the mercy seat

Where Jesus is waiting

His grace and blood will cover me...

Lord, have mercy, Christ have mercy

Lord have mercy on me..."

And I knew I was covered and forgiven, just as Isaiah knew he could approach the throne because his lips were made clean. But here is my question, for myself, "Does this type of experience get mirrored in my private worship, when I am alone, just me and Jesus, and He's waiting for my personal adoration? When there is no one to lead. Does my private worship glorify the One who created me to worship Him?" Lord, I bow the knee in surrender.... You are worthy to receive more.