Blank White Pages

If you know me, then you know I carry around a big black book that I call "My Brain".  It is my journal and has everything, and I mean everything in it.  Years ago, I decided to stop keeping separate little books for office things and for home things,

 and just combine all of me into one book.  And this week, I have to buy a new journal.  The one I have right now was started in July of 2007.  Yea!  That is a lot of me, my thoughts, ideas and plans on paper.  It has become like an old friend...and I always have it with me.  I can turn the pages of it and it is like having a conversation with an old friend.  So, starting a new one has always been a little sad for me.  What if I need something that is in a past book when I'm not near the old journals that I store in my desk.  What if?  Aaahhhhh....it is a big deal to me to be staring at a big, blank, brand new journal that is absolutely EMPTY!  Will this new book find itself filled with ideas that were as impactful as the last one was?  As a person in the creative arts field, this can be daunting...the bare, empty page, void of any idea, any thought, any plan.

Last year I read a new book by Twyla Tharp called "The Creative Habit".  I loved 

it.  I refer to it often and think about the things I learned while reading it.  And better than that, I actually use a lot of what I read about and learned in my job and in life.  If you haven't read this one and you serve in the creative arts field, this is a must read!  Twyla is a choreographer and has had great impact on the world of dance.  She just recently received her lifetime achievement award from the Kennedy Performing Arts Center.  WOW!  Quite a big deal.  She writes about what has always scared her as a choreographer and that was the big, white, empty dance room.  Whenever she was to start a new project, she started with an empty box that she filled with things that inspired her steps, the music she picked, the costumes, etc.  No big, organized filing system, she'd just drop these items into this box labeled with that particular project's name.  She also videoed herself working out her choreography in her studio and that always went into the box.  But she admitted that at the beginning of a new project, there was always that bit of fear of "what if those great, creative ideas just don't come for this project?"  It is kind of like staring failure in the face at the very beginning.  Would fear keep this project hostage?  Would there be a creative road block ahead - a rut, or just nothing....SILENCE?  Twyla writes in her book about how she learned to take that white, bare world and own it and make it work for her.  Instead of fear, it became a challenge, a clean slate of fresh new work.  And because the box had all her ideas, she knew that they could be used to possibly finish another project in the future.  And as I have to begin carrying around a "new brain" for this upcoming year, I was reminded that I needed to embrace the blank, white pages that lay before me in my new journal.  Where is the faith that God will fill it with even better ideas?  Where is the joy for getting a fresh start on ministry and home with this new book?

I often feel the same way about my Mondays like I do about starting new journals...however, they come EVERY 7 DAYS!  Think about it.  We work to create worshipful moments, and then we invite our people who attend worship on Sundays to join us in a time of giving back praise to the One who directed the service we crafted for them.  I am always moved and honored that God takes the work of our hands and uses it for His good and glory each week.  And then, it is gone.  Monday hits and we have to start all over again!  A big, blank page sits in front of us as we meet together.  We take a little time to stop and celebrate the day before, but time ticks on and at some point during every Monday, our focus must change to the Sunday that lie just ahead.  But as I have decided to embrace my new journal, I have decided that this year, I'm going to embrace my Mondays.  I am often heard whispering to my husband at some point on a Sunday night, "I don't want to go to work tomorrow."

It's not because I don't love my job - you know I do!  But the next day is so blank...it needs to be filled.  And what my little whisper is, is actually me giving into fear that the next day might not find itself having creative thoughts coming from me.  But God gives this wonderful promise in Lamentations 3:22-23, "The faithful love of the Lord never ends.  His mercies never cease.  Great is His faithfulness.  His mercies begin fresh each morning."  Right there is my reason to stop whispering my fears.  God's mercy that brought us through last week, that filled the last journal full of creative ideas (and the one before that), He did not forget me last night.  He did not run out of something new for me.  He wants to continue to use me for His good and glory.  I just have to celebrate and embrace the freshness and newness of His mercies each and every day.  

So, I challenge you this year to walk this journey with me.  To look at the blank page as an awesome opportunity, wake each morning with an anticipation of the Holy One pouring over you fresh, new mercy for this day.  I'm not afraid of the new, blank, white pages that lay before me.  I'm anticipating just how God will fill up my new book, and in turn my life and the lives that I am privileged to touch in the year 2009.  Give me that new book...and let's get going Lord!  I'll meet You at the top of that very first blank page, and we'll see how You create through me.